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Big deal, or no big deal?

April 20, 2010

The thing about all this ‘moving in’ caper, right, is that in some ways it’s really normal.  People keep saying to us: “How’s living together?” with a strange excited wide eyed grin on their face. (If they send text messages there are a lot of exclamation marks, so I know it’s all very exciting).

And invariably we reply with various hypoerbolic responses, such as:

“Awesome, I completely love it; it’s so much better than I thought, and we’re having loads of fun.” (Me) 

“Cool.” (Him)

But in our own little way we’re loving it, though I think we’d both admit that while we thought it would feel really strange; it doesn’t.  I mean, it’s just easy. And normal. And feels right. I can only conclude this is because, for us, it happened at exactly the right time.

There are a lot of people I know who are reading this blog, and many of them are on their way to moving in with someone, which is so awesome, and (as you can tell) I totally recommend it. But a word of warning, don’t, for the love of god, rush it. And don’t move in with someone for a reason as simple as ‘we love spending time together and can’t bear to be apart’ because you can bet your bottom dollar (what is the bottom dollar btw???) that you’ll soon find being apart is really quite bearable, if not preferable.

We took three and half years, (which maybe was a little too long), but when we did it it felt like a big deal, and I knew that I really knew YB. And also, I knew we were good at being apart, so we could be together because we chose to be, not because we had to be.

That said, each to his own and all that, what’s right for us might not be right for someone else, and this is certainly not a mantra on how to live your life. More a gentle reminder that living together isn’t just about being able to see someone all the time, it’s a whole lot more than that.

And, of course, when I say I knew YB, there’s still a hell of a lot that he conveniently  kept hidden for me to learn. I mean who knew he talked to plants all the time? Or finds it necessary to wake me up in the middle of the night with lots of complicated instructions about what I should be wearing? Or keeps his football socks in the washing basket, but never actually intends for them to be washed? Or dries himself with my hairdryer after getting out of the shower?

No, this is all part of the crazy learning curve that is living with a boy. It’s great, but it is not to be undertaken lightly…

Thanks iStock.com for that superb picture…

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